Stop Calling It AI—It’s Just a Fancy Spreadsheet

The AI Hype Train Has No Brakes (But No Brains Either)

Look, we get it. Every tool now slaps “AI” on the label like it’s low-fat gluten-free marketing crack. But let’s be honest—most of what you’re seeing isn’t artificial intelligence. It’s artificial confidence.

It’s rule-based logic wrapped in a slick UI. And it breaks faster than your intern’s spirit after their third ‘quick revision.’

As we said on The Longer Game with Noah Wickham:

“That’s not AI. That’s just a rules engine with a branding problem.”

Real Talk: Most AI Tools Don’t Stick

The pattern is all too familiar:

1. The demo impresses.

2. You sign up.

3. You never open it again.

Why? Because the tool isn’t smart—it’s scripted. And once it fails your first real task, you’re back to doing it yourself (or worse, blaming your team).

What AI Can (And Can’t) Do

• Great for:

• Simplifying repetitive, templated tasks

• Summarizing data, emails, or product listings

• Researching basic facts (like how a refrigerator works)

• Creating conversion-focused creative

🚫 Not great for:

• Building your brand strategy

• Understanding retail nuance

• Making actual decisions

AI doesn’t invent. It repackages. That’s not intelligence. That’s formatting.

What Smart Brands Should Do Instead

Use AI to enhance your team—and replace low-value tasks that don’t need a human touch.

Test tools that support your workflow, not dictate it.

Focus on strategy first—then find tech that helps scale it.

AI should be the assistant, not the CEO.